tunneling

today was really a pretty nice day. which is rare, anymore. my mother called me and we must have talked for hours. it was such a valuable conversation. again, i am struck with the realization of just how lucky i am to have a mother. she doesn’t have a relationship with her mother. dite doesn’t have a mother. so many people… you would think it’s a normal thing, to have parents that are loving, but it’s not. it’s really not. and we talked a lot about really important things, like what is causing this pain in us. well, in me, because her pain comes from being abused. found out today that grandmother was also abused… i hate how that cycle keeps alive. statistically, i’m probably even more likely to have been. and my mother actually admitted the possibility today… but we threw around other theories, too. i do think that if i did remember anything, it would be okay to tell her. that she would believe me. i’m so lucky. and she told me about something that happened when i was three, that she thought probably caused trauma for me.
Continue reading ‘life is bigger…it’s bigger than you’