tunneling

nobody loves us and nobody ever will.  if they don’t want to say they love us it is functionally not true. if they shut us out of their life they don’t love us. i really wish you guys would just understand. i mean i guess the only real solution is to die. but you think we can just live without love and pretend we are loved. it doesn’t work. you don’t care about us. you don’t listen at all, ever. you say you want to but you don’t. you don’t want to and you don’t listen. you never care you think we are shit. maybe you are right but you’re a hypocrite because you don’t come right out and say it. or you think we are you so when you say you hate yourself it applies. you’re not fair, you’re not fair, you’re not fair.

it hurts and people should care people should help us. i know no one can and that’s why we should die. if they really loved us they would. we are unloved and that is pathetic. i mean why can’t we die? do you really disagree with me?

our head hurts and our shot-place hurts and our back hurts and we’re itchy everywhere. everything hurts but you don’t care. you can’t even imagine telling the doctor. so you block us from ever getting better maybe. stupid. i know i’m a stupid cunt. i know i don’t have good thoughts or beliefs or ideas. i just want to be loved. i want company. i want to be able to not be alone. they don’t care if they cared they never would have told us what a cunt we are. even if we are. i don’t care if you hate me. i don’t care. just at least help us die.

it’s not fair that our head hurts. it’s not fair that everybody gets recognition but us. it’s not fair that you want us to act modest. you’re still trying to make us into someone quiet and we’re not. no matter how much we wish we were. we aren’t good enough.

anyway even if we don’t die and no one loves us, why won’t you? i hate you trying to do homework. everybody knows we will never be able to get this degree and if we do then we will never be able to use it. just because something is interesting doesn’t mean we are able to pretend we’re a real person. do what real people do. why can’t we just give up?

going nowhere, leading nowhere. nobody, nobody, nobody cares. it’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair. 

nobody can ever make it feel better. not you not us not outside. so why why why do we have to keep living it’s not FAIR!