tunneling

there’s scorn both ways, all ways. there’s fear and feelings. there’s doom and shame. there’s a transulecent dancing streak, fleet-footed, wrapped in white cloths, of compassion. there’s new awareness and who would think it would be war-worthy? nothing like memories, nothing old and worn, but body-awareness. so that is the present battle, and many of the soldiers would keep me at all costs from even mentioning this. from making it sound as though we thought we were real. from taking the easy way, the coward’s way, pitying ourselves because we crave to be pitied.

but our body is not special. it holds memories and stress like all bodies. it is beautiful, and whole, and we are lucky for that. but it is also real, and ill-used. 

there’s always pain for some; held by some. if we allow them looser boundaries on their burdens, will we lose our abilities? if ignoring pain gives us so much, then why stop? if paying attention would limit our life, why pay?  my body works right, i cannot make that complaint!  what’s the danger of ignoring the pain? that it will get worse? but why would it? and if it did, wouldn’t we be in precisely the same place?

to acknowledge physical as well as emotional, mental, spiritual woundedness… it seems wicked. selfish. dangerous – we might create what we are looking for.

some of us are so weary. so endlessly unacknowledged. stoic with despair (where despair is only the absence of hope.) we can hardly hear those ones over the clamor of the upset ones.

you. have. no. business. delving.