Archive for February, 2007
so, i have twenty minutes to write before programming. it’s monday. tomorrow i’ll have therapy, wednesday i have a test and i think have to go to the dentist with indigo, unless that’s cancelled like today’s, thursday there is therapy and group, and friday we’ll finally see k– again. so i hope this full week will fly by, because i have many reasons to be impatient. ok, i have one reason to be impatient. my computer is supposed to ship today. and i’m fixated, because it doesn’t feel like i have anything else to look forward to.
i’m having pangs that are too grown-up for me. it’s unsettling. i know that i can speak like the bigs and am smarter than most of them and have been playing fast and loose with the definition of “kid” for a long time… but dammit, i need to stay a kid. i don’t want this. i’m not looking for this. i don’t want to be responsible for anything. all that crap can go to the bigs, dammit.
well, cynthia got one good day and a half at least. which we sorely needed. hopefully when we wake up tomorrow she will be able to come out again. but for today we are absolutely used up in the cerebellum. we’re trying to eat, so we’ll be ready for therapy. therapy suddenly feels so overwhelming, though.
we got cookies and chex mix at the store for being brave and picking up our ’scription. and aeron made us food too. so maybe that aspect will be easier for today.
i need to take another math class. i don’t know why i didn’t see before that i haven’t taken all the prereqs for the statistics course. plus it is only for majors, so it will be a pain to get into later. oh well. i have to take this prerequisite, but it has prerequisites, which i have taken, but haven’t had evaluated by the math department.
Continue reading ‘my best friend, overwhelmment’
i’m testing a short bloggy thing i’m setting up at my journal. so that we can write one-liners without feeling like we’re cluttering up our precious work of art.
oh, change is good.
oh, the world felt cold and hard yesterday, but that’s nothing to how it feels now. i don’t know what to say without spewing self-pity. i’m so scared and lonely. it feels like nothing will ever be okay again. my face hurts from where someone inside rapped their knuckles on it two days ago. my head hurts from not sleeping. from crying. i don’t know what to say that i wouldn’t need to hide.
