we made dana the most beautiful website we’ve made in a long time! it’s at danaberryprincess.com, which i think is the best domain name EVER.
and the tiara isn’t anti-aliased very well, but i don’t have photoshop, so it will have to be good enough. unless any dear kind reader has photoshop and would like to email me about it. *nudge nudge*
i love making websites! now mine is jealous, because it’s not as pretty. and now dana will write stuff and we will read it! so wonderful!
i’m bummed, because i went to go install moveable type for someone, and it’s now this stupid pay thing! for unlimited authors they want you to pay a hundred dollars, which is so dumb because we only need unlimited authors because we are so many people. and it’s just not worth that much money, i don’t care how much they upgraded it. but, upon combing the web, i found the installer zip file for my version of mt, and so i will use that. but, grumble! stupid mt. it’s still free if you have one author only and three or less weblogs, but you have to get a login and all this stuff. so stupid!
my camera is going to get here on august 5th. that’s why i haven’t really been taking photos in the interim. i am so excited about it. i am so impatient, too. how can i survive another week! but i shall. and then i will take photos upon photos.
i did a good: i modified the little random picture thing in the corner to be only pictures that i have created. the other ones i found and photoshopped a bit, but now they are all just pictures that i have taken. so, praise me!
i also put the webcam back up, if you will look in navigation, beside miscellanea. silly me.
life is crashingly big right now. waves sharp and salty, each bit of foam in relief. eddies curling around my toes, now tickling, now pounding, now caressing. feelings washing up and around. each step could be a misstep. each word seems to mean so much. and even talking in metaphor is too transparent. there is no way i could be cryptic enough to allow baring of my soul.
but that means i’m real, i exist in a context, and that’s exciting. scary, worrying, sad, good. worry threads headaches sharply and specifically, locally, through me. a migraine in a millimeter-thick two-inch long line. how strange.
i’m alive; i feel deeply.
i want to cut and i want to fucking get away and i don’t know what to do but i just want to bleed and i want my own fucking space. if you think this is about you, it’s not. so calm down. why does aeron feel so cold sometimes? why is everything so shitty?
stupid voice in my head stupid wish i could drown rather than be this, this shallow-ass therapy junkie. “we’ve really cut ourselves off from healing, from ourselves, in some ways, moving here,” qualify, qualify, blow away on a mouse’s breath. “we need that space.” but what the hell do you want me to do? do you think it would be any better, if we had a safe place, if we had a therapist? are you so naive?
Continue reading ‘hoping i’d learn’
i am buying myself the best birthday present ever, and
i
refuse
to
feel
guilty!
it’s been a while since i’ve actually written. life has been kicking along with its whirlwind, as sometimes happens, and i can’t stop enough to get a grip on anything. i still can’t, almost. there are many pictures, some of which i could post, but i think it’s been too long. since something substantive. since i went with words.
partly i think i hesitate because all the characters, or some of them, in my little life drama will be reading this. and partly it’s simply because other people are involved. (amazing! in my life, other people!) i shiver naked for me, but no one can do that for someone else.
Continue reading ‘and by the time it was taking up my whole view’
Why I Didn’t Post Pictures Of The Bedroom
Originally uploaded by myriad.
okay, i know i already photoblogged today, but i am tickled by being able to add notes, so you should all click on the picture and see the funny cuteness.
