2011 August Archive at tunneling

Archive for August, 2011

Written on August 28, 2011 by tweets. 0 Comments

can't sleep for pain… this is eerily familiar… #
i guess i'm not doing well #
took a quarter of a muscle relaxant and slept through the night, at least. I want to be well #
i wish i wrote neater code #
time time time time time #
holding many things in mind. room for suicide feelings, worry, love, weekend, meditation, self. in theory. not balancing well #

Written on August 21, 2011 by tweets. 0 Comments

i think i may have a sex addiction #
also, that suicide chat site is only on tuesday and thursday evenings. so that's helpful. #
do not see any reason to continue living. for fuck's sake, enough's enough. #
ok, body. i will try not to ignore your pains. your stabbing head and gut pains must be important. (and leg and back) #
why can't i cry? i've cried maybe 5 minutes in the hours and hours of acute emotional pain. i feel like i need to cry. i can't #
emailed our therapist a few hours ago, and got a standard issue "sorry you feel that way". there is nobody to help. we are so fucking needy #
wow, no matter how low we sink into hurting others we can make it worse. there is absolutely. no. reason. to. live. WE MAKE IT WORSE #
sorry should probably block myself from using twitter today i don't feel in control of my actions at all #
can't believe this time yesterday i was so ok. it seems like it should take more than a day to destroy my world. #
had a dream about our boss last night and it is kind of weird to see him now! #
we were like hanging out and he told us he was in AA and had been molested by his uncle. it was so oddly specific. #
panic attack at work. it really sucks. it has been a hell of a week. #
feeling like a worthless waste of space. i'm owning it more though, i know it's coming from inside #
finally got section 8 for the new place!!!!! rent is $350… thank goodness #
oh my god I have the hottest boyfriend in the world #

Written on August 14, 2011 by tweets. 0 Comments

barely held together. I need to rest (but can't) #
made a dr appt… so that's good… #
i feel like i shouldn't go to the dr because i don't hurt enough #
and i'm home from ballet, so that should tell you something… #
is proud of how we were at the dr and have scrip for muscle relaxant and referral to massage. the referral says cervical strain. dirty! #
home from therapy, body feels like it was hit by a truck #
weary and worn and sad #

Written on August 7, 2011 by tweets. 0 Comments

drowning, depressed, alone, worthless. why can't i ever feel hope when it is clouded over? #
too sore for ballet still… sigh. #
just remembered a fragment of a dream last night… was telling a friend all about work, and realized there was a non-disclosure agreement.. #
then thought, oh, it's ok, this person would never tell anything. then after the conversation was over, realized my boss was IN the conv. #
just thought that was interesting… #
just got this from python and laughed out loud: TypeError: __init__() takes at least 3 arguments (3 given) #
made it through day 1 of gender odyssey. omg my head is killing me, i hope this doesn't last all weekend. #
going to lie down for my head, but thanks for the love dear twitter folks. we love you too #
head down to a dull throbbing. time to try sleep #
woke up in the middle of the night from the pain of my neck and can't sleep. crap it's getting worse. why this wknd? ow ow ow #